By Michael Ketterhagen
Last night my mind kept thinking of all the negative things that were happening in my life. I was tired and had this blog to write and felt pressured to be upbeat and positive for you, my readers. My mind wanted nothing to do with “positiveness” and I was identifying with my negatively spinning mind. It kept spinning and spinning about things that I was doing wrong (“You didn’t eat the right food today.”) and the things that I should have done (“Why didn’t you write your blog before you went on vacation with the family up North?”). My negativity kept going.
I didn’t feel grateful for the incredible children and grandchildren in my life, but worried about the pains and sorrows that they were experiencing. The first attempt at my blog was a disaster. Even my chief editor, Mary, said that it wasn’t good. But I was too tired to change it our even think differently about my “suffering.”
My mind was out of control. I even began to notice that I was getting angry and was remembering past irritations about myself and others. My mind was building into a powerful bout of anger and depression.
So, I went to bed, later than usual, and angry about that. This morning I woke up, then fell back to sleep, almost missing my 6:30 am meditation time with the morning meditation community ( https://us02web.zoom.us/j/81358772809 ). My mind said, almost angrily, “You better not miss that.” So, I didn’t.
When I got to the resort lounge, connected to the wifi, and began to let Kelsey’s words settle me in, I began to still that negative, spinning mind of mine. I realized that life was better than my mind was letting on. In fact, my life was good. My family was wonderful and the Divine Mother is always loving me and protecting me. The deep positive essence of my being popped forward and put all the negativity of my spinning mind into stillness. All the past meditation practice was bearing fruit. My mind was beginning to move in the direction that many days of meditation had taught it.
I had slept and rested my body and now I again regained the joy and peace of my mind because it had begun to rest into stillness. Gratitude for the powerful calming and soothing nature of the breath in my nostrils and the stillness of my body while I sat alone in the resort lounge, brought me back to a truer reality. “All is well!” “I am alive and breathing.” “I am grateful for this brief meditation time with my community of meditators.”
I had survived my negative spinning mind.
Thank you Divine Mother for helping be still my mind and bringing me back to my true reality. I pray to Your Divinity within me and within you! (Namaste’)