FOND DU LAC CENTER FOR SPIRITUALITY AND HEALING

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Fond du Lac, WI  54935

 

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email: info@fcsh.org

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Understanding or Experiencing

April 5, 2016

 

“In the end, I am less concerned with defining God than I am with experiencing God.”

 

Belden C. Lane

 

I am currently working Steps 2 and 3 of AA recovery.  They are:

 

            2.  Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

 

            3.  Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God

                 as we understood God.

 

I sit here in addiction recovery for the past 16 years.  I have spoken the words of these steps hundreds of times.  Each time, I have silently denied a nagging doubt.  I don’t understand God. Now I have said it:  I don’t understand God, Higher Power, the Source of life.  My mind cannot wrap itself around the vastness of creation.  I contemplate the solar system.  I imagine the complexity of the human body.  I witness the growth of a seed in to a life sustaining plant.  I observe the interconnectedness of all of life.  I just don’t understand any of it.  I get overwhelmed by both the simplicity and complexity of it all.

 

This reveals a flaw in my character.  I insist on trying to understand rather than simply experiencing.  Now I have to face the challenge of my Source serenity:  live the fullness of the experience and stop trying to analyze each experience.  Just how do I do this?  Simply!  Live out the basics of recovery blessed with the gifts of Yoga:

 

Be still.

 

Separate feelings from stories.

 

Be still.

 

Rest within.

 

Be in community.

 

Stop trying.

 

Enter the experience.

 

There have been times when I have done some of these.  When this has happened, I have found myself beside restful waters.  I will continue to practice this gift of life.  I will listen to the reminders that I don’t have to be perfect, that I will learn the lessons of pains of errors.  I will continue the journey.  Thank you for being part of my journey.

 

Namaste’

 

 

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