“I am my sobriety.”
This past week, my time with my sponsor was filled with several moments worth further pondering. We were discussing reflections from last week about missing practice and the implications regarding steps 10, 11, and 12. Loosely paraphrased, these are about self study and forgiveness, continuous connection, and giving back.
One of the first times I met my sponsor, he reflected on an exercise he had done early in his sobriety. He was face to face with another individual. They asked each other, “Who are you?” This went on for several minutes. You may recall a few weeks back a similar reflection on “Who am I? Who is God?” Here we were again pondering our identities.
This question has become a part of my daily reflection and meditation. Identity? The past reflections revealed that identity changes with the moment, suggesting that God is manifest within experiences as they are lived. Each experience reveals the evidence in light of mindfulness. Thus, daily practice is an essential element of mindfulness preparation.
Each of us has a unique daily practice, supporting the evidence of a personal relationship with our Higher Power. In community, our shared experiences magnify the wisdom, love and grace of our Higher Power. This is the essence of communion in my practice. Communion is also the essence of my sobriety. In communion with you, I am sober. We are sober.
Sobriety is not a task to be completed. Sobriety is not a goal to be met.
I am sobriety. You are sobriety. Together we are Higher Power, God as tangible evidence of presence and sobriety.
Another part of this discussion included our past and how dangerous it can be to allow our past to be a burden. This burden can be a hazard to our sobriety. Spending too much time in our review view mirror may hold us in the illness of past practices. Yet, we also agreed that the rear view mirror has its place. We can bring the events of the past in to the present as a compass. We can see the direction we have taken from past to present and determine whether we will stay on the same course or alter our direction.
Personally, my past has written a series of chapters revealing the persistent presence and impact of my Higher Power. My past is a collage of events where I can visualize experiences of communion with each of you. There is a collective energy which transforms anxiety into serenity, fear into courage, and ignorance into wisdom. These are the foundations of being sober.
Yes, I am sober.
Yes, we are sober.
Yes, we are communion.
Yes, we are Higher Power.
Who am I?
Who are you?
Who is God?
The next time we share an experience, we will know.
Be still and know.