“Who am I? Who are you, God?”
Phooey! I am really frustrated!!!! As if this is news to anyone.
I was beginning to think (oops!) that I was beginning to connect with my God. Well, I have to admit that I am. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be in such a state of sacred frustration.
To my point: I still have God shut up in the box of my expectations.
I have been expecting God to somehow ‘take me over’ and do something really great, holy and miraculous. I alluded to this last week, and concluded that my sobriety is something really great, holy and miraculous. Well, I remain sober. That’s still a miracle.
However, these questions of who am I and who is God are unraveling my mind. This is a good thing as my mind is a dangerous place to be without Divine supervision. Again, I digress.
Who am I? I am beginning to accept that I am not able to answer that question without attaching some holy label to myself. I am observing the ongoing sacred, circumstantial flux of my life. I find myself shifting from being in a funk, or a state of excitement, or a state of childish play, or marital tension, or any variety of emotional and spiritual situations during a given day. I can only answer such a question in any given moment. Thus, it is critical that I continue to be mindful of the sacred moments in life, and STOP trying to identify with some cosmic label.
I find this to be a relief of sorts. I can stop trying to figure out who I am and simply be, in any place, time and situation. This takes the mask off of who I think I should be and simply engage the presence of the moment.
Likewise, my relationship to God is in a circumstantial flux. In one moment, She presents as an individual in emotion upheaval offering me the opportunity to listen and support. At another time, She may be present in the foolish antics of a wild and crazy child or grandchild, calling me to be wild and crazy and engage in the fun.
Here’s my point: Each of us offers a face of God which cannot be boxed, predicted and fixed. We offer our Spirits to a given moment as needing or offering healing; as needing or offering childish fun; as engaging or ignoring peace, harmony, craziness, etc.
We are, and God is, all of us in the many circumstances of our individual and collective lives.
I love it.
This energy, Spirit, presence may carry a different relationship to each of us as well. Some relate to God, others relate to energy, others relate to presence. We relate. We are related. We are gathered to purpose
This week I haven’t spent as much time around water as usual. However, every morning I have walked bare foot in the grass. My ancestors walked in this grass. Our feet are wet with dew, rain, thorns, and gravel. This connection is just as good as being beside restful waters.
Join me for a walk in the morning grass. Be at rest.
Thank you for being a presence.