“Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith first. The trust comes later.”
A one liner from the movie “Iron Man”
So you caught me in a moment of weakness. I was home recovering from a virus and watched an afternoon movie. Even a moment of laziness has a useful one liner.
This one caught me in one of those paradox mindsets. Faith? Trust? Which comes first? Both? Neither? Does it even matter? Are faith and trust synonymous?
What comes to my mind is that the leap of faith is a conscious act on my part. The results of that leap may or may not lead to the strengthening of trust, or the strengthening of my faith.
Regardless of which comes first or the similarities of meaning, an action is ultimately required.
Do I take the leap or not?
In the terminology of yoga, each action and experience leaves us with samskara, an imprint on our mind that is connected to our body through emotion. “Every action we perform – mental, verbal, or physical – makes an impression in the mind, which is stored in the form of memory” (The Secret of the Yoga Sutra). The more frequent the action, the deeper the samskara and memory. The deeper the samskara, the greater the impact on future memories and actions. Some of these result in our addictive behaviors. Healthy choices contribute to our sobriety and state of peace. In the end, each choice or behavior will impact the future.
Yikes! Now what?
The trauma that supports addictive behavior has made impressions so deep that we often find ourselves in the despair and hopelessness of the downward addictive spiral. How do we get sober and stay sober in mind, body, and spirit?
Those of us who are sober know the grace of our scream for help and the miracle that has brought us our first experience of sobriety. That was the beginning of the journey. Sustained sobriety must become our lifestyle. A lifestyle is a practice of choice. Each choice contributes to the deepening of sobriety or addiction.
Our 12 step program offers us the choice of transformation. Yoga, meditation, or other spiritual practices offer us the deepening and strengthening of our sobriety. These practices are our choices. Each choice deepens the samskara, the impression on our sobriety, and contributes to the miracle offered by our Higher Power.
Whose effort is more important, mine or my Higher Power? Both!
I put my faith and trust in a Higher Power, which is given the skin of our community. Our 12 step groups, our yoga groups, our spiritual study groups, our sponsor relationships – each of these gifts is the substance of sustained sobriety. Each requires faith and trust. Faith and trust are the choices which produce the deepening of our confidence in our sobriety.
The simple fact is that I must make the choices of sobriety. My Higher Power will engage a community of faith and trust. We will continue our journey and find the waters. Some days the waters are peaceful. Other days the waters are turbulent. Together we stay sober in peace or in turbulence.