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Letting Go

“I never thought of letting go.”

MSGR James Vlaun

This statement hit deep in my soul. Fr. Vlaun was speaking of his childhood memories of his grandfather walking him to school. He would hold grandpa’s hand. As he walked, he experienced a wonderful, childhood security so strong that he never thought of letting go.

Both of my grandfathers had passed away before I was two years old. I ached to have a grandpa. This vision of holding grandpa’s hand stirred deep within me. The stirrings were warm and secure. Then, sobriety came to mind.

What brought me to sobriety? How many times did my grandfatherly, grandmotherly God reach out to me with the offer of Divine security?

How many times did I choose to live in my denial, thinking “I’m ok right where I am.”

Grandpa and Grandma God persisted. Grandpa and Grandma God would not allow Their beloved grandson to agonize in addiction. I finally took their hands.

I’d like to say that I have never let go. I did let go. Many times I believed that my way offered more security. Today I can say that I have a firm grasp on Grandpa’s and Grandma’s Devine hands. While this is my 17th year of recovery, I can claim 6 years of sober security. For 11 years I would grab ahold of the Divine hands, only to become arrogant enough to believe I could continue on my own. Bam! Down I’d go.

Always, those Divine hands were ready to receive mine.

Here I rest today, allowing these Divine hands to hold me, hug me, caress me, and carry me. The growing evidence of these hands is the result of the practices of our 12 step journey, aided by the sacred practices of yoga, meditation, worship, and living with you who surround me with your hands and hearts. The ceremonies of life in community take on greater Spiritual impact, though they become more and more subtle, simple and quiet. You know, these are the experiences that are mostly experienced in the quiet moments of life.

Ah! The quiet moments of life:

A touch feels warmer.

A smile is brighter.

A hug is deeper.

A friend is nearer.

A church is holier.

A sacred moment is simpler.

Sobriety: I will never let go of it.

Take a moment, and add your own sacred moments to the list.

Share them with those you experience them with.

We will find our place, beside restful waters, in stillness.


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