“Honestly grieving the loss of someone is a sign that I am already
beginning to heal.”
Change is about making space for something else to grow within. As we grow, something has to go to make room for something else. To me, it makes sense when the ‘something’ is a person. Over the years I have moved with my family several times. These moves meant that there was a distance between us and the family and friends left behind. These losses definitely created spaces within our souls. We grieved. We missed the people, the places, and the familiarity of that way of life that was past. The grief made it possible for us to establish new friendships and routines. This makes sense that I would suffer these losses.
As I entered into addiction recovery, I also experienced a deep loss which did not make sense. I expected an exuberance when I left my addiction behind. Not so! I came to realize what a deep and powerful relationship I had with my addictive nature. The community of people who shared their recovery experiences with me helped me to recognize the loss we suffer as we transform from a person of addiction to a person of sobriety. The wisdom and grace of the 12 Steps of recovery, along with my sponsor and recovery community, guided me through the process of loss and gain. I grieved in order to experience grace and hope.
Sixteen years later, I continue the process. The practice of Yoga, especially meditation, enhances the mindfulness of the change: loss (making space - surrender), grief (full experience of the loss – acceptance), grace (replacing loss with gain –growth), and celebration (joy of growth - hope). I am coming to recognize this process as a mystical paradox, the integration of my responsibility to practice the life lessons of recovery with the miracle of healing which makes no apparent sense to me.
I will continue to practice this way of life. Each day offers a new opportunity of “beginning to heal”. Each of these healing experiences reminds me of all who contribute to the healing process. My gratitude grows. Thank you.