"How can I steel myself against the pain?" Anonymous
This question arose recently during a converstion with a friend. Wow! We subsequently enjoyed a rather enlightening discussion. We were talking about the anticipated experience of a loved one dying of cancer. My reaction: numb the pain. However we quickly realized that my addict was speaking those words, not my sobriety.
The very first of the 12 steps requires honesty. Each of the subsequent steps is a journey deeper into honesty. I cannot live in sobriety and dishonesty at the same time. These two cannot occupy the same space. Period!!! The practice of the Yoga life style creates a Divine awareness which deepens the reality of space management, of pain management.
I am learning how to allow pain to occupy sacred space. I must hear this again: the Yoga of 12 steps allows me to let pain occupy my sacred space. Meditation takes me in to this space of pain and allows me to fully experience this gift. In the fullness of pain, there occurs a miracle which results in a painful peace, a painful serenity, a painful experience of Divinity. I rest in the fullness of this experience as I witness the passing of a loved one, where there is a lesson that I cannot comprehend. Yet, the focus on "so hum" shifts the experience from me to us. There is an opportunity to more fully honor the Divine spark among my loved one, my Divinity, and my humanity. Here in lies the promise of sobriety in its fullness.
Addiction is the denial of this possibility. Sobriety is the preparation for an experience of honesty. Yoga of 12 steps offers a path to the serenity of a choice: the full experience of pain. The gift: Divine presence.