This seems like an appropriate topic following Valentine’s Day. I heard reports that the average man spends almost $200.00 to express his love. The average woman spends a bit over $100.00 to express her love. Hmmmm? Then I heard a topic on a talk show about food. There was a suggestion that there would be a presentation of recipe’s that were considered better than sex. Oddly enough, this did not attract my attention to the report. Instead, my mind settled in to a space of reflection: I’ve been married to this woman for 44 years. There was an awareness of something beyond words. There were words that came to mind: sacred, contentment, fulfilled, peace……. None of these are adequate so I won’t belabor the point.
There was a picture that came to mind, with a ‘food for thought’ statement beneath it. There was an elderly couple walking down a beautiful wooded path. There was a question: What makes a relationship last? There was an answer: When things were broken, we fixed them; we didn’t throw them out.
I recalled my numerous attempts to “fix” my beloved. What a joke! I could fill several hundred pages with stories of attempts to fix the woman who has been wife to me. You would find these outrageous, humorous, and stupid. My arrogance in these attempts is pitiful. However, there is a bright side: my education about love. Here are a few thoughts from these lessons:
A relationship doesn’t get fixed. A relationship heals.
A relationship is open to surprise.
A relationship finds humor in strange places.
When each partner in the relationship gives 50%, there is a half assed relationship.
Healing occurs when we give our relationship time and attention.
Marriage occurs within a sacred space.
Marriage is between two individuals who honor each other’s individuality.
Relationship grows with the four basics:
Earth – a solid foundation.
Wind – an untamed Spirit;
Fire – burning energy;
Water – flowing, adaptable, unpredictable, unlimited, unconditional.
Now it is your turn. What are the foundations of your relationships? What is your investment in your relationships? What do you do to experience Divinity within yourself, and how do you bring this to your relationships?
Well, I’m not pretending to be an expert on relationships. I offer these thoughts as observations of self and the many relationships which have contributed to the man I am becoming. These are the substance of my Divinity, my sobriety, and my joy in life.