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Fragile


“I didn’t realize I was so limited until I wasn’t anymore,” I said to a friend on the night I came home from surgery. I walked upright, and felt the relief of the hernia repair already, although I was numb with pain medication from the procedure that morning. It felt easy, and effortless, in fact, I had a really good time. My surgeon is very competent, kind, and good-looking too. Oh yes, he’s also French!

It took about three days for the residual pain to kick in, and for me to realize that surgery is a systemic shock. I am really very tired, and not used to feeling that way. But, I submit, and rest, and feel ever so grateful for modern medicine, loving relationships and the prayers and support of many. I feel new somehow, but it’s too soon to touch it; something’s forming inside. And, I am getting to know myself in the stillness.